When you first start talking to a girl in a social situation, like a bar or a club, it’s important to demonstrate high value. While it’s important not to put her up on a pedestal, because that’s what most guys do, and you want to stand out from most guys, you do need to “set the hook,” so to speak, so when you pull back she’ll chase you.
So how do you do that? Well, you need to accomplish a few things, all in about five minutes. One is you’ve got to demonstrate that you’re an adventurous guy who’s lead an interesting life. Second, you need to show you’ve got passion, and you’re a great conversationalist. Finally, you need to move through several emotions in a few minutes.
Sound complicated? It’s actually pretty interesting when you know the trick. You’ll be able to use a technique from NLP called “nested loops.” This creates an incredible amount of tension, which can take any otherwise mundane collection of stories, and turn them into a series of cliffhangers.
First, you’ll need to come up with a few stories from your past. This should be easy, since all you’ve got to reach back into that deep memory of yours and pick up a few. It’s important to choose one or two that will elicit a few different emotions.
Now, if you just rattle off these stories one after another, even if use a wide vocal range and the accompanying facial expressions, it still won’t be that interesting.
But here comes the trick. You’ll need to have three or four ready stories. Just start one, and when you get up to the climax, simply switch stories as if nothing happened. This creates something called “response potential.” When something is listening to your subsequent stories through this “response potential,” they’ll seem a lot more interesting.
That’s because the mind doesn’t like unfinished business. So when you break off stories halfway through, the listener will subconsciously find whatever you say next more interesting.
When you do this with three or four stories, it will drive her interest through the roof. Then just start asking her questions, and she’ll continue with the fascination.
You can vary this up a bit, and go back and finish up a couple stories, and then come back and start another one, or do whatever. But you should never finish up all the stories, otherwise you’ll be killing off all that interest you’ve been creating.
Always leave open loops, and you’ll always create interest.
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