From my last Mars article you will remember that I was looking at my choices from the Mars Global Surveyor Mars Orbiter Camera Image Gallery and chose MOC Narrow-Angle Image Gallery: Mars Chart 03: Arcadia.
The reason was that I spotted a colony of some kind on Mars! I didn’t know if it was a human colony or not, so I decided to zoom in closer. I still couldn’t tell. That’s when Xrytspet from Fanton in G10009845788899990766 popped in and told me she would take us there in the Fnl7 Time Craft which is powered by the Xempler B29BS19444322 Particle Beam Double Thrust Engine.
Xrytspet told me that it can use grains of wheat as fuel if it has to.
As you remember Xrytspet called me a fizzpooper because I told her I had no intention of going to Mars, it being such a windy and inhospitable place. She took me anyway.
Xrytspet does as she pleases.
We had found the remains of a Russian Colony on Mars and there was still one Russian Cosmonaut living there because there was not room for him on the Soviet spacecraft, the космический корабль, which had a 15-man crew. They returned to Earth leaving #16 behind.
We scattered out of there too because the Fnl7 Time Craft seats only two.
Despite not liking Mars, I wanted to go back again. I felt awful about leaving that old man to die there. His loneliness would be unbearable. I asked Xrytspet if there wasn’t some way to bring him home.
Xrytspet: What am I, a taxi service?
Hack Writer: Xrytspet, I feel sorry for the man.
Xrytspet: You are such a nincompoop, Taylor Jones, the hack writer. The Fnl7 Time Craft is a time machine. That old man has been dead for centuries.
Hack Writer: Centuries? I can’t believe it. Look at the technology. It was present day Soviet.
Xrytspet: You saw CCCP and translated it USSR. Did the old man answer your fumbling Russian?
Hack Writer: What are you getting at, Xrytspet? He looked Russian to me.
Xrytspet: He looked like whatever you wanted him to look like. That old man was a Centalonian. CCCP means Central Centalonia Prospecting Club. He was looking for lost treasures from the extinct Martian Federation.
We didn’t leave there because we didn’t have room for him. We left there because a Centalonian can never be trusted. Did you see the way he was looking at me? He had been prospecting there for a long time.
Hack Writer: I don’t see why anyone would look at you in that way, Xrytspet.
Xrytspet: I’ve seen you looking at me in “that way.” I’ve been thinking about checking in with your wife on that point.
Hack Writer: You’re full of it, Xrytspet. I want to visit what’s left of the extinct Martian Federation. What happened to them anyway?
Xrytspet: Earth will look like Mars when this generation gets finished with it.
Hack Writer: Oh, no! The Martians didn’t have the internal-combustion engine?
Xrytspet: The Federation decided that every Martian family should have 20 children. They ate themselves out of house and home. War broke out for the first time ever and hundreds died. Then the Lykrets came and ate every green leaf and blade of grass and then the Lykrets even ate each other. The Federation leaders decided it would be best for the Martian survivors to bury themselves in the sand, which they did.
Hack Writer: What’s a Lykret, an insect?
Xrytspet: A yellowish flying rodent about the size of one of those squirrels in your backyard. Well, not really a rodent nor a bird.
Hack Writer: Only hundreds died in the war, not thousands or millions like on earth; and they still went extinct?
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