Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus according to John Gray in his book of the same name. He uses this to illustrate the differences in behaviour of men and women. I have just reread the above book, it has a very appealing introduction to explain the differences in men and women. How Men began on Mars and women on venus and how they got together.
John Gray is a counsellor and studied how to improve relationships between the sexes. After seven years of research and trying new methods he was able to reverse situations with his clients and wrote the book
Yes I think we would all agree there is a difference in how men and women react differently to situations and even conversation. The way questions are worded and the different meaning that are “heard” by the sexes. The different connotations of “would you” and “could you” in particular, and how men prefer short direct requests, not long explanations.
It would appear in the book, points are used to assess the effort made by the partners in a relationship, and how men score differently than women. I must say I hadn’t ever considered a point system. It is suggested, that it is the perceived imbalance that can be the source of arguments. I questioned my partner on some of the issues and particular questions, he didn’t always react per the book.
However one situation I picked up on; apparently women might voice an upset or irritation without expecting or wanting a “fix” whereas men hear it as a problem that they have to provide a solution for. I have noticed this happening, if I grumble out-load and voice a comment, if for example I lose something on my laptop, immediately my partner makes suggestions to “fix” it.
There are some interesting lists of ways men react to women’s unintended, but apparently annoying comment and questions; more appealing suggestions are supplied.
So an interesting read with some surprising revelations, some of which I’m sure apply, but as people we are all different. Perhaps an understanding of your partners reactions could in some situations make a relationship more harmonious.
One list at the back of the book is a long list of situations of how a woman would appreciate her Man treating her. I ticked those I responded to in case my partner reads the book at some time, he might get some insight into my preferences! Some of the situations made me laugh, you might find them funny too.
I shall be looking out for various reactions to situations in the coming weeks and maybe I will recognise more differences versus Martians and Venusians reactions. In the meantime I would say it is an interesting read, and if you are having augments and misunderstanding you might benefit from some of the ways to communicate and resolve disagreements. So read it and see what you think. Meanwhile I shall be watching out for my Martians reactions!
Not actually mentioned in the book, but I do notice men don’t notice things automatically as I think women do, and through practice “save their legs” by taking several things to the kitchen at once, as an example. not that I am complaining about my Martian who has been exceedingly attentive as I am stranded on the sofa 24/7 with a fractured kneecap.
Lucky that I have an online business that I can work on my laptop balanced on my lap or I would have suffered incredible boredom this last five weeks. Despite the fact we are wintering in Spain, I am unable to see much of it. However at least there is sunshine every day! I am lucky I’m free to work anywhere with my laptop.
So maybe John Gray’s book can improve you relationship, or at least give you an interesting read, and maybe you are interested in time and location freedom and would like to work with your laptop too!
Make 2016 a year to remember!